Let me start this revert story to let you know this is A true blessing for me to come to Islam and to find Allah of whom whether I know it or not was searching for since i was a small child. I will share with u some brief past to let you know who I use to be and how Allah has brought me to a Strong, humble, Muslimah.
You see when I was a small child up until one year ago, my family never taught me about God or had me in church ever or anything that had to do with religion. I grew up believing there was no God and I did anything as I like because nothing seemed a sin in my family. U could almost say I was a spoiled brat and I did what I wanted whenever I wanted and no one cared to be honest.
I had no discipline or certain way to be. As you can tell this lead me down a very bad sinful life. After my parents divorced at the age of 7, it was all downfall from there. After that I grew up with a mother who had mental issues and a very bad alcohol problem and many men problems as well. She let bad things happen to me with her ex husband so I began to rebel at an early age because at the time I hated her and her husband for this.
I started hanging out with so called friends,partying, and so on. I even began to drink at the age of 13 because things in my house had become so bad in my house and my mother and step dad always drank so I thought it would help my problems and make them go away. Of course it did'nt. I had nothing to believe in so I livedday after day doing this. I started having boyfriends at the age of 13 as well and it was fine with my family almost an ordinary thing for them. It was'nt before long I became pregnant at the age of 15 with my then boyfriend in high school. I had baby at 16 and when I graduate at the age of 18 my son stayed withthe father and his parents while I went to another state and attended school. Then I seemed liek a teen all over again and I had fun while I attended school but the wrong kind of fun as you can see. I did what I wanted to do again.
I had a job, went to school, had my own place andmy own money so it seemed no one could tell me what to do. I thought I knew everything. I met a new man and I got pregnant and so we married and I quit school. Needless To say, he had affair after affair on me and by the time my son was born he left me for another woman and another baby. So there I was at the age of 19, single parent, alone, and depressed. I decided to make some changes in my life. This was some type of turnign point for me. I calmed down completely. I went to school, went to work and lived for my kids. I felt there was somethign missing though. I wanted to know God at this point. I wanted to have that happy feeling of believeing in him and so on. So I started going to church. I did'nt find a sense of belonging there and I did'nt believe in what theywere preaching to me about this trinity and about Jesus being the begotten son of God. So i stopped attending and a year later I started joining the Kingdom Hall at the age of 20. But somehow this just was'nt right for me either.
I did'nt feel God and I did'nt have the feeling or anything. I did'nt believe. So i went there still yes but only to have something to belong to in front of people. I know this sounds wrong and it is but at the time I did;nt want anyone to know I did'nt believe in God and all soi just attended to attend. It was at this point I really began to feel that there was no God. Here I was just turned 21 and I did'nt feel anything so I started thinging maybe he was just made up in many religions for people to have something to believe in. You knwo what is amazing is that that whole time I was searching for God and then someone came to me. I met this woman. Very different then most woman i communicated with. She always dress so strangely to me. She interested me eventhough it seemed we had nothing in common. I asked her oneday why she dress this way and why she dont shake hands with the men that come in the building and she say very humbly "because I am muslim and I love Allah". I thought this was almost funny to me. I was like yeah ok sarcastically.
She would always try to offer me books after that and I would take them btu wouldnt read them like she wanted me to I'm sure. Then oneday. I was really bored and I said why not. I got nothing to lose it seemed so I picked one book up and started reading it. It really had my attention. I wanted to learn more so I asked her for more. Then I found myself getting on the internet and reading and goiong to Islamic rooms to find trur muslims and see there input on things.I read and I read and this knowledge made sense to me. It was clear. The message was clear to me. It felt right. Would you nelieve one night I woke up in the middle of the night.Wallahi I had this sudden happy feeling. I was emotional. I was happy. Happy as I could ever remember being happy. I was crying Allah's name. He was and is my God. I found him.I felt him near at that point.
I couldnt explain the way I felt honestly and to this day I still cant exp[lain how happy I felt at that moment. Through all the years of emotional abuse, sexual abuse, mental abuse, and through all my life and sins there HE was. Do you know this is such a wonderful thing for me. Think how Allah has changed my life. I cover and in hijab everyday, I am married to a muslim man and he love me dearly and take care of me and my children, and I am the happiest I have ever been. All Praise is due to Allah..Ameen...
Anonymous June 16, 2006
Source this story from www.spaceofilmu.blogspot.com
.png)
